L-O-V-E

Irksome
Annoying; irritating.


"Everything was difficult, irksome and finally hopeless when I was a Samana." p49

Bestirred

To cause (oneself, or, rarely, another person) to become active.

"... he goes through the affairs of the world like the stone through the water, without doing anything, without bestirring himself..." p50

I didn't really understand where Siddhartha was going with this learning-from-a-prostitute thing. Not even Kamala herself knew what she had to teach. Was it an excuse to stay close to her?  This is even confirmed by how determined he is for her to kiss him. Can't he see how materialist she is? Why would she ever want to be with anyone like Siddhartha? A gentleman with no money? She didn't have anything to teach him, but he thought he learned about love, "to learn about love from the most beautiful woman" My question from the last blog was answered this time: he only needed some love.

Need Some Company?

                        
Awakening
The start of a feeling or awareness in a person.

 "Now it is over; I have awakened" p33
                             
 Example: Siddhartha thinks he has find his Self, he feels awakened.                                          

Hermit
A person who has withdrawn from society and lives a solitary existence.

"Even the most secluded hermit in the woods was not one and alone; he also belonged to a class of people" p34

Example: Siddhartha's life as a Samana.

Ostracize
To exclude or banish (a person) from a particular group, society, etc.

"... All this had been nothing to Siddhartha but a fleeting and illusive veil before his eyes, regarded with distrust, condemned to be disregarded and ostracized from the thoughts, because it was not reality, because reality lay on the other side of the visible" p38

Example: How lonely Siddhartha feels when he finally awakened and found his Self. He doesn't want to go back to his father because he doesn't feel like a Brahmin anymore.






Siddhartha first dreamed about a woman and then he had an encounter with one along the brook. Is he realizing he really needs company? He already decided he is not going back to his father because he is "no longer a Brahmin" (p33) Will this encounter suffice his need of company? Is he going to give up on his Samana side too? Since they are supposed not to interact with anyone else, apart from other Samanas, in any way.

The Journey to My "Self"

So wait... Siddhartha just stood there until his father told him he could go away with the Samanas so he could find his Self a few pages ago, and then he decided he wanted to be empty and no longer go after his Self?

"Siddhartha had one single goal- to become empty, to become empty of thirst, 

desire, dreams, pleasure and sorrow- to let the Self die." p11

He barely breathed and had learned how to lessen his heartbeat. He "learned" how to escape from his Self temporarily. Siddhartha compares that temporal escape with those who drink their problems away:

"The driver of oxen makes this same flight, takes this temporary drug when drinks 

a few bowls of rice wine or coconut milk in the inn. He then no longer

feels his Self, no longer feels the pain of life; he then experiences temporary escape." p13

He thought he had learned nothing from the Samanas and his exhaustive journey in the forest. He was determined to find his own way. Even when he met the Illustrious One, Gotama, the Buddha, he still decided not to take his path. For Siddhartha, Gotama's teachings were flawed and he decides he'll continue his journey of finding and conquering his Self again. Gotama had made the view of his Self clearer.

This journey of self-discovery Siddhartha takes, reminds me of Eat Pray Love. Elizabeth, the protagonist, realizes she's not that happy with the life she has. It may seem for everybody else that she's enjoying her wonderful marriage and career, but she isn't satisfied. She leaves everything behind to go on the journey of finding what she really wants and rediscovering herself. Just like Siddhartha decided to leave his family and closest friend to find his Self.

Nice Technique!

There was one thing that really caught my attention in the first ten pages of Siddhartha: his dad's patience . When I insist and plead for their permission they already lose their patience and just start saying "If you keep on insisting it's going to get worse". If I start giving them reasons for why I deserve to have permission like Siddhartha did, "Siddhartha has always obeyed his father"(p8) they would just ignore me. They'd pretend they're too busy to listen to me being stubborn.
I haven't tried standing there until they get bored of seeing me and hope they give me a yes:

"Siddhartha," he said, "why are you waiting?"

"You know why"

"Will you go on standing and waiting until it is day, noon, evening?"

"I will stand and wait."

(p8)

Siddhartha's father noticed how much his son wanted to become a Samana and was surprised with his persistence. Maybe, I can try that next time... I'll just stand in front of my parents and follow them around to see if my persistence is enough for them to consider saying yes.

I hope that Siddhartha finally finds his "Self" in this adventurous and disciplined journey of becoming a Samana. I hope he doesn't come back with a "vessel that is not full" (p3)

Love You Ted!

I would say that in this poem is addressing agape love, love for mankind. She is highliting the actor's good work and praising him for it. When she says, "but when Mary Magdalene anointed you, when you cast merchants and money changers from the temple, I forgot your thinning hair and wrinkled brow..." So she admits she also underestimated Ted Neeley for his age, but later realized how good actor he was. Then, maybe a bit of eros, physical love, might be involved when she says she forgot about his thinning hair and wrinkled brow. She didn't think of him as an old man anymore. She continues to praise him and she even says "I don't care how old you are..." which might imply her interest on the actor since it's a "Love Poem" as the tittle says.