The Journey to My "Self"

So wait... Siddhartha just stood there until his father told him he could go away with the Samanas so he could find his Self a few pages ago, and then he decided he wanted to be empty and no longer go after his Self?

"Siddhartha had one single goal- to become empty, to become empty of thirst, 

desire, dreams, pleasure and sorrow- to let the Self die." p11

He barely breathed and had learned how to lessen his heartbeat. He "learned" how to escape from his Self temporarily. Siddhartha compares that temporal escape with those who drink their problems away:

"The driver of oxen makes this same flight, takes this temporary drug when drinks 

a few bowls of rice wine or coconut milk in the inn. He then no longer

feels his Self, no longer feels the pain of life; he then experiences temporary escape." p13

He thought he had learned nothing from the Samanas and his exhaustive journey in the forest. He was determined to find his own way. Even when he met the Illustrious One, Gotama, the Buddha, he still decided not to take his path. For Siddhartha, Gotama's teachings were flawed and he decides he'll continue his journey of finding and conquering his Self again. Gotama had made the view of his Self clearer.

This journey of self-discovery Siddhartha takes, reminds me of Eat Pray Love. Elizabeth, the protagonist, realizes she's not that happy with the life she has. It may seem for everybody else that she's enjoying her wonderful marriage and career, but she isn't satisfied. She leaves everything behind to go on the journey of finding what she really wants and rediscovering herself. Just like Siddhartha decided to leave his family and closest friend to find his Self.